The Urban Chaos Cottage

There’s a unique kind of chaos that only happens when you’re trying to enjoy a sunny Miami evening in your tiny backyard oasis—just you, your dogs, and a bloodthirsty swarm of mosquitoes that seem to have signed a lease on your homestead. 

It started like any other serene evening after a long day at work. I opened the side door, let the dogs burst into the yard like caffeinated toddlers, and settled in with my Stanley cup ready to soak up whatever was left of the sun. Within seconds, it became clear: the mosquitoes were ready for war. 

And naturally, the dogs didn’t care. Not one bit. They were too busy zooming through the grass, chasing each other, tongues lolling, tails wagging, completely unbothered by the cloud of evil insects surrounding us. Me? I was slapping my legs, arms, neck—any exposed skin like I was trying to perform a dramatic interpretive dance. 

Hubby was slapping himself silly, massacring several at a time. But they came back with reinforcements. 

In a moment of desperation, I grabbed a citronella incense stick, lit it, and began waving it around like some kind of mosquito-exterminating wizard. Picture it: one hand holding my coffee, the other conducting a symphony of smoke spirals, muttering spells under my breath like “Buzzus Begonus!” and “Winged Demonio Be Gone!” 

The mosquitoes? Unimpressed. One landed right on the incense stick like it was checking into a luxury resort. 

Eventually, I set up a perimeter—citronella candles in every corner, lavender oil misted into the air, a fan blasting on high to mess with their tiny flight patterns. The dogs continued their playdate, blissfully unaware of the mini war zone around them. One of them even laid down on top of a citronella candle like he was sunbathing at a spa. 

So, what’s the takeaway here? 

Mosquito Control Tips from Someone in the Trenches (a.k.a. My Backyard): 

• Citronella incense sticks: Wave them like you mean it. Pretend you’re in a duel. It helps mentally. 

• Box fans: Apparently, mosquitoes are lazy fliers. Blow them away. Literally. 

• Essential oil sprays (lavender, eucalyptus, peppermint): Smells better than bug spray, but don’t expect miracles. 

• Mosquito-repellent plants (lemongrass, marigolds, basil): They look pretty, and they make you feel like you’re doing something. 

• Avoid being outside at dusk unless you want to be a snack. Learn from my mistakes. 

By the end of the day, I was sweaty, bitten, and slightly dizzy from the incense smoke—but the dogs were happy, the garden was watered (mostly with my tears), and the battle was done. 

Miami living, right? 

Until next time, I’ll be in the backyard—wand in hand—ready for the next swarm. 

Have your own mosquito horror stories or tried-and-true tips? Share them in the comments! Let’s form a backyard defense alliance. 

Follow more chaotic garden chronicles on Instagram @urbanchaoscottage